Little Potato
by flyff
Summary: Romano gets Spain pregnant and freaks out at the news. Mood swings aside, Spain isn't really worried though - he just wants to eat some potatoes. And have sex. Unfortunately, their friends are being too helpful and they keep on getting in the way.
1. Chapter 1

**Little Potato**

Romano sighs, his eyebrows furrowing as he lets his fingers play with a little medicine bottle. He's sitting alone by the table, his breakfast plate is empty but the other one is barely touched, even though the food is absolutely delicious. This is simply wrong, he thinks, scowling. No one should be allowed to leave such a good food uneaten. Not to mention, to throw it up.

No, he's not worried. Not at all. It's just starting to get annoying, how Spain wakes up all cheerful every morning, cooks them a delicious breakfast which they eat together in a peaceful atmosphere, and then he runs off to the toilet to throw it all up.

He's not really worried but it is bothering him in a way and he wants his lover to be able to keep the food in. Otherwise, he's going to loose weight very soon and that would be a pity considering how nicely toned he is now.

Er... no, Romano didn't just think that.

"Phew, I feel a bit better now..." Spain walks in to the kitchen and smiles weakly, rubbing his eyes. He's pale and looks tired and Romano doesn't like that at all.

"I got you some medicine." he says grumpily, pushing the bottle towards his lover so he could see it clearly. "It's for the stomach. I don't want you to waste any more food."

"Oh..." Spain smiles widely, particularly beaming at him. But he's still not as enthusiastic as he usually would be about Romano showing signs of affection (which is, of course, only Spain's wishful thinking) and that bothers the Italian even more. "Romano, that's so sweet of you~!" he walks up to his boyfriend and leans down to give him a tight hug. "Thank you! But I'm afraid it's not going to help."

"What... what do you mean." Romano pushes him away and glares at him, offended. "I got the best one! It was expensive as hell so don't even think about it not working."

"Well, but it's just morning sickness... I know it always comes with pregnancy so there's nothing I can do about it."

"Don't be ridiculous, just take it and drink some herbs and..."

"What did you just say?"

"Which part?" Spain looks tired again and he sits down by the table, next to Romano, scowling at the basket lying in the middle of the table, as always full of deliciously red tomatoes. They usually don't survive a whole day so Romano brings fresh ones every morning. And Spain definitely shouldn't be scowling at them, he doesn't have any reason to. Something must be seriously wrong with him.

"The... p-p..." Romano stutters, blushes and coughs. "That's not really funny, you dumbass."

"But I'm not joking." Antonio pouts at him.

"Hey..." Romano is really worried now. For Spain's mental health, of course. "Stop it. You can't get pregnant, you idiot."

"Well, I am pregnant so I think I can..."

"Yeah, right. And how do you know you are pregnant?"

"I just do. That's obvious."

The conversation is getting ridiculous and Romano's head is starting to hurt.

"It's not fucking obvious to me! How could I possibly get you pregnant?"

"Oh... you don't know? How can I explain... you know, the babies don't really grow in cabbage patches..."

"I KNOW THAT, YOU STUPID JERK!" Romano feels his cheeks burning. "For fuck's sake, stop this fucking idiocy!"

Unfortunately, he doesn't get to swear any more because someone chooses the moment to knock at the door. Or rather - try to break the door.

"Who the hell..." Romano growls, annoyed to no end. What a way to screw up a nice morning, he'll have to properly thank Spain for that later. And maybe he'll thank the unfortunate surprise guest, too.

"Oh, it's just France and Prussia!" Spain announces happily and runs to the door, suddenly all about sunshine and butterflies. Romano suddenly thinks he's going to be sick as well and he wonders if in Spain's mind him also being pregnant would be the only reasonable explanation.

"Congratulatioooons!" a giant bouquet of flowers shouts as soon as Antonio opens the door, before Romano can stop him and block it with a wardrobe. The bouquet is soon put into Spain's hands, revealing his friends' grinning faces. "So what's the baby's name?" Prussia asks, letting himself in.

Oh no, Romano thinks. They're a part of this cruel conspiracy which apparently was set up with a purpose of driving him crazy.

"Oh, we didn't name it yet." Spain answers happily, obviously flattered and oblivious to his lover's growing distress. "It's only three weeks old, after all, we don't know the gender yet..."

"Yes, but you should make up a nickname~ oh?" it is then when France notices Romano and smiles at him, his blue eyes sparkling happily at how red the Italian's face is. "Congratulations to you, master of the fine art of reproduction! It's really difficult impregnate a nation... I'd tried that before I proposed to England. I'm sure if he was pregnant, he wouldn't refuse so easily... then again, good thing I didn't succeed."

All of sudden, Romano completely forgets to be annoyed.

"Are you saying... it's actually possible, with a male nation?" he asks slowly, not sure if he really wants to know the answer.

France raises his eyebrows at him.

"Do you even need to ask? We do have a living proof here, don't we?"

"Um... Romano doesn't really believe me." Spain speaks up softly. He looks troubled but he's still smiling and Romano still feels like strangling him, for so many reasons that he can't even remember even one of them at the moment. "I'll... look for a vase." he says and disappears in the kitchen, mercilessly letting Romano become a victim of his friends' evil glares.

"What do you mean, you don't believe him?" Prussia growls. "You get him _pregnant_ and you don't_ believe_ it? That doesn't make any sense. Do you want me to knock some sense into you...?"

"Oh, sod off." Romano is too bothered by the whole thing to get scared now. Especially by that potato bastard's brother's empty threats. If it really is the truth... why didn't Spain tell him earlier? And when he finally tells him he does it in a way that makes the whole thing seem unimportant to him and completely unbelievable to Romano. While it definitely is important and it does seem believable now. "I didn't even know." he explains, scowling. "He didn't fucking tell me."

"Oh... he didn't?" France looks at him curiously.

"Not until right before you guys came."

"Oh really..."

Francis looks thoughtful, tapping his chin and examining the ceiling as if he could find any brilliant ideas up there, and Gilbert is busy glaring at Romano, apparently still considering using violence. Romano glares back; he just wants them gone so he can talk to Spain and make him explain. But it seems they don't have any intention to leave.

Suddenly, a soft sniffing is heard in the uncomfortable silence. Prussia and France look at each other and they immediately run to the kitchen. Romano, feeling confused - did Spain catch a cold? In the middle of summer? - follows them if only to make sure they don't break anything.

They find Spain leaning on the windowsill and... crying.

Spain... crying. Romano is completely dumbstruck.

Impossible.

It's the first time in his life he sees the man crying and... he doesn't even know what to think.

"Oh non... Antonio, please don't cry!" France runs up to him, patting him on his arm. "Everything is going to be okay, mon cher, believe me."

"What the hell..." Prussia seems just as surprised, and Romano feels thankful to him for once.

"It's the hormones, you insensitive jerk. That, and his lover apparently isn't responsible enough to accept the fact he'll soon become a father."

"WHAT...?" even though he's shocked, Romano isn't going to take insults from that idiot.

"You heard me right. Come on." France turns around to glare at him. "Cheer him up. It is your responsibility now. He's going to have horrible mood swings and let me remind you, you are the one who got him pregnant, so you are the one who should be there for him now."

"Y-yeah, he's right!" Prussia scowls at him.

Spain is still sniffling.

France and Prussia keep on glaring.

"Well? Do something!"

"Ch..." Romano gulps. Spain isn't looking at him; his eyes are fixed to the floor and it seems he's not entirely aware of the whole ruckus going on. But he's crying. He's crying, damn it.

"Make him feel better!"

"Are you really _that_ much of a jerk?"

"Chi..."

Spain looks up, blinking the tears away, looking sad and confused and...

"CHIGIIII!" Romano screams, turns around and runs for his life, slamming the door behind him just in case.

There's a moment of a surprised silence, soon broken by Prussia.

"Wow. He's just as good at retreating as his brother. And here I thought he kinda seemed like the braver one."

"There are no brave men amongst the Italian." France feels it's the right moment to share one of the world greatet's wisdoms with his friends.

"You're wrong." Spain says, his voice trembling. Francis gives him a consoling smile and is just about to try to cheer him up, when Antonio wipes his tears away with his hand and looks at him with_ that_ look.

The one that means _death_. In the name of God.

"You _upset_ him and you will_ pay_ for it. And it's going to be_ unpleasant_."

"Um..." Gilbert seems worried. "Is that a mood swing again, or should we..."

"RUN!" France screams and does what could be a clumsy parody of Romano's retreat, dragging Prussia along.

"Ha." Anotnio grins to himself, feeling much, much better.

Seems like the French aren't as good at retreating as the Italian, but they don't let that stop them.

**TBC**

I wrote it some time ago (for the Hetalia kink meme), then dropped it. But I decided to continue now. Does anyone want me to, though? :)

Sorry for my English, still working to improve it!

Hope you liked it.

Oh, and can someone tell me why is ffnet eating the line breaks?


	2. Chapter 2

**Little Potato**

part 2

"Okay" England says in a defeated manner, closing his eyes and rubbing his temple, praying for some kind of a god of patience to help him survive the evening. "What is_ wrong_ with you?"

"Mhe?" Spain asks through a mouthful of potatoes - quite an unnecessary question, really, considering how Arthur is pointing at him with his fork.

"Yes, you" the blond man confirms, his voice laced with acid. "_Why_ aren't you eating the tomatoes?"

France and Prussia exchange worried glances, Germany is unfazed though, apparently convinced Spain just came to his right mind and finally chose to eat real food.

"I like potatoes better now" Spain shrugs. "Is that such a big deal?"

"That's not funny" England replies, trying to keep his calm. "This is a business dinner, so stop playing dumb jokes on me and eat your fucking tomatoes. Anyway, why aren't the Italy brothers here yet?"

"Veneziano said something about teaching his brother how to be a good daddy" Germany reports, putting more mashed potatoes on his plate. "I believe Romano wasn't interested though, as the last time I saw him, he was running away screaming from what looked like a diaper."

There's a moment of heavy, uncomfortable silence hanging over the table and then - Spain starts to cry.

"Romano" he sighs dramatically, his teardrops drowning in the mashed potatoes. "He really is useless, after all, isn't he? He wanted me only for sex. I'm going to become a single parent now."

Prussia looks a bit bemused, obviously still not used to his friend being so emotional, but he gives Spain's back a comforting pat.

"Don't worry. We won't leave you" he says seriously.

England is gaping at them, open mouthed, and France can't help a delicate chuckle escaping his lips at the sight, but he hides his smile in his hand.

"Yes!" he says, looking at Spain with pure affection. "Having the country of passion and the country of love around, the child will experience a lot of love, so don't worry, dear Espagne!"

"You know what, France?" Prussia scowls at his friend. "That sounded really pedo. The poor thing isn't even bean-sized yet, restrain yourself."

"Why" England hides his face in his hands. "Why did you all have to go completely nuts today, when I have to be there to see it?"

"I'm not nuts" Germany points out, chewing on his food.

"You must be immune to being nuts if you're sane after spending so much time with Italy" England replies dryly.

"We're not, as you like to put it, nuts. Espagne here is pregnant."

"Yeah right, and I'm married to Hello Kitty."

Spain chooses that exact moment to get up suddenly and run towards the toilet, covering his mouth with his hands.

"And that is a morning sickness" France explains helpfully. "How is your beautiful wife doing, by the way?"

"It's evening now, though" England replies skeptically, ignoring the sarcastic comment.

"Well then, it must be an after-siesta sickness. Poor thing" he sighs, shaking his head. "And that poor excuse of a nation left him, just like that, can you believe it?"

"Who's the poor excuse of a nation?"

"Romano!" France exclaims furiously. "I used to think he was cute, but acting like that... that's just unforgivable."

"Bullshit" Arthur is once again forced to rub his temples, feeling the idiocy-inducted pain spreading behind his eyes. "I am not going to accept this rubbish." He stands up abruptly, glaring at the remaining table occupants. "Let's meet again after you clean up this" he gestures towards the toiled. "mess. Goodnight."

"Poor Angleterre" Francis sighs, as the door behind Arthur closes with a loud clunk. "He must be worried."

"Haaa?" Gilbert raises his eyebrows. "He seemed pissed to me. And what's with you and the _poor_ word?"

"No, I'm telling you - you don't know him. He's worried."

"I AM NOT FUCKING WORRIED!" the door shouts at them angrily.

"See?" France smiles, as if that proved his point.

Gilbert can only roll his eyes at him.

* * *

The doorbell interrupts Romano's new favorite way of spending time - staring into the space, doing nothing. His conscience doesn't let him have fun - hell, it doesn't let him do anything besides thinking about Spain. And so, he also can't focus on work - everything is just... too messed up.

The Italian freezes, for a split of a second worried it could be his stupid brother and his stupid good intentions - but no, that's not possible, Romano distracted him telling him that their fridge was empty. And shopping is one of the things that take Veneziano forever.

Then who could it be? Probably a business letter or something like that. Sighing, Romano decides to get the door.

When he opens it, he immediately regrets the decision. A very smug-looking England on his doorstep can't be good news and suddenly Romano thinks his brother's good intentions aren't that bad, after all.

"W-what the hell...?"

"I came here to talk" England announces, letting himself in before Romano can react and shut the door in his face. "You people seriously can't do a thing by yourselves, can you?"

"W-what thing...?"

"No need to look so pale" England smirks at him. "I'm not here to fight. You don't have to hide under Germany's skirt."

"The potato bastard doesn't wear a skirt" Romano protest mechanically. "If he did, I'd probably... oh no." He covers his eyes with his hand. "Bad mental image."

"Great" England snorts. "Your boyfriend is pregnant and here you are, miles away from him, imagining Germany in a skirt."

"It's your fucking fault that I'm imagining Germany in a skirt!" Romano shouts back, distressed. "What the fuck are you doing here, anyway? Let me tell you - you're not exactly my favorite person on Earth!"

"Well, excuse me for being worried" England growls, and then, all of sudden - blushes and looks away. "I-I mean, I'm not really worried, but... hell, where is your sense of responsibility? Leaving your boyfriend like that? He's really not doing that well, you know."

"Oh yeah?" the Italian glares at him. "And since when do you care?"

"Well, maybe I'm not so good at expressing my feelings- wait, why am I explaining myself to you- you're even worse than me!"

"What?" Romano is furious now. "I'm not a fucking sadistic crazy bastard who talks to fucking fairies and feeds everyone with poisonous shit he calls food!"

England is completely dumbstruck for a moment, his eyes wide and his mouth open, making him look - well, stupid.

"My cooking is n-not that b-bad..." he finally manages a weak reply, sounding like he's on the verge of tears.

Romano stares. And stares. And stares some more.

No way.

"Uhhhh..." the awkwardness in the air is getting too much to bear. "Are you... crying?"

"I-I'm not!" England coughs, running a hand through his hair, trying to regain his composure. "Just. Go back to Spain. He needs you."

"Yeah, right" Romano rolls his eyes. "Needs me to make him cry again? That idiot is better off without me. I... I can't help him with that."

"What kind of bullshit is that?" Arthur snorts. "_That idiot_ drowned his fucking mashed potatoes in tears after he was told that you'd run away screaming because of a fucking_ diaper._ If anything, that's enough of a proof he needs you around to help him with _that_. Such a fucking cute nickname for your kid, by the way. And frankly - I don't care about you two, really. You're a cowardly jerk and he's just, well - an idiot. But there's also the baby. A tiny, helpless, innocent being that needs..." he suddenly pauses and blushes, yet again looking embarrassed. "Fuck, I... N-never mind. I-I'd better just go now" and with that he turns around and disappears behind the door, leaving Romano more confused than he has ever been before.

Fuck. What is he supposed to do? He cares for Spain, he does - he kind of was forced to admit that to himself before they slept together for the first time. Spain is- for Romano, he's someone who simply makes him happy. He's a good person to be in a relationship with - he rarely gets angry, leaving that to Romano. He's basically ready to do anything for the person he likes. He's patient, always bright, always smiling. Living with him was supposed to be easy - no responsibilities, no problems, no fucking _babies_. Romano is smart enough to understand those things eventually come with a relationship, he knows relationships are also about giving, not only taking - but when he decided to be together with Spain, it was because he knew Spain was okay with mostly giving at first, he thought he would have time to just- get ready. But this, this is just too early for him. Not to mention, he would have never excepted a baby in their relationship. He has absolutely no parental instinct, that's for sure. When he thinks about the _little innocent being_, he just feels sick and scared.

No place for love there. He can't possibly be a good father.

But. Can he still stay around, just for Spain?

He's not sure. But the again, not staying around- that's a scary thought. Leaving him for good. No - Romano can't do that, can he? If he could, he'd have done that a long time ago, and now he would be dating a hot girl and just enjoying life.

And eventually, he would end up with a baby.

_I'm really not being fair, am I?_

But what can he do? He's not ready to come back, not yet - but maybe, eventually, after reading up stuff about how to deal with pregnancy and maybe attending a parent's course... maybe then he'll able to go back. And be of some use to his boyfriend. He doesn't have to like the baby - but he can do that for Spain.

_Okay. That's it. Now I just need to call him and tell him I'll be back - in a month. Or two. Three, at most._

However, all Romano's plans are soon completely forgotten with just one word.

"Romano?"

It shouldn't be possible to put that much hope and joy mixed with anxiousness and nervousness into one word, but Spain somehow manages to do it and Romano feels his heart clench and he suddenly feels like crying.

"Y-yeah, that's me. U-um, how are you?"

"Oh. I'm okay" he does sound okay - just tired and kind of out of it, and Romano suddenly really wants to be there, just - just not to let him feel down. "Gilbert is making a mess out of your CD collection. And Francis is making a mess out of our kitchen. But it smells good. You'd kill him though, he's cooking potatoes" he laughs; a warm, gentle sound that sends pleasant shivers down Romano's spine. Then there's a quiet pause and then- "I miss you."

Romano can't even be angry about the CDs and about the kitchen and even - about the potatoes.

"I... j-just" he takes a deep breath, tightening his grip on the phone, his palm cold and sweaty. "Just wait for me, okay? I-I'll be there soon."

He hangs up before Spain has a chance to reply and he sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair.

He can't just keep on making up excuses. He can't keep on running away. He's not a little kid, is he.

He can do this.

* * *

I'm not really happy with that chapter. Where is my sense of humour? It died. All the drama killed it.

Oh well - in the next part, we're going back to the stupid. And the fluff. And oh - I hope the sex will come soon, but... there are still obstacles on the way. XD

Thank you everyone for the reviews! I felt very happy! Most of you mentioned how Spain being the pregnant one is unusual - I agree. And I really like pairings where both guys get a chance to top so I'm just balancing things out haha. I also don't really like mpreg - unless it happens to unusual characters. I'd surely read Denmark mpreg, for example. XDDD *shot*

Hope this chapter was okay! Tell me what you think :)


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